Valid

As a young mother and wife, I impose on myself that I need to prove I am valid. My marriage is valid, my mothering is valid, and my Christianity is valid. I imagine what might be swirling in the heads of people passing by,

"She's so young...is she even married.... oh that must have been a shotgun wedding....that won't last....ect. ect."

Sometimes I wish I was wearing a sign around my neck saying "NOT A SHOTGUN MARRIAGE" or maybe something ridiculous like "WE GOT PREGNANT YES AND DECIDED TO GET MARRIED YES BUT THEN WE LOST THE BABY AND STILL GOT MARRIED ANYWAYS AND FOUND OUT WE WERE PREGNANT AGAIN AFTER THE WEDDING EVEN THOUGH TECHNICALLY WE CONCEIVED BEFORE WE WERE MARRIED BUT REALLY WE GOT MARRIED BECAUSE WE LOVE EACH OTHER NOT JUST BECAUSE WE WERE PREGNANT AND WERE DOING THE RIGHT THING" Because you know that would fix all our problems right? All of my insecurities would be cured if everyone just knew the story right? Yet honestly that would probably cause more troubles than help.

The point is, regardless of the order, I am still forever going to have "mother" and "wife" in my definition. That is how God intended it to be, that is His plan for me. If I am following and pursing what God has given me, then what everyone else is thinking is irrelevant.  The only one's thoughts I should be concerned about are God's, my husband's and my son's/future kids.

I require the reminding of both God and the confession of my heart, that I am valid. I am a valid mother, because I am showing up, and I am loving my baby with every part of me. I am a valid wife, because I am there for and loving my husband in every way possible. I am a valid Christian, because I am pursuing God and I am letting God fill and overwhelm my being with His love and grace. God chose me to mother Isaac and to forever love Nathan, that is all that matters. No signs required. No proof needed. Most of all, no worries of what others may or may not think.