Breathe

Breathing.....how vital it is to most everything. Today I worked on breathing. Isaac seemed only to wail today. 

Put my engorged breast to him; wail, wail, wail. Inhale, exhale and hum. 

Burp him; wail, wail, wail. Inhale, exhale and hum. 

Hold him, bathe him, leave him in the crib; wail, wail, wail. Breathe in and out, in and out. Let the oxygen saturate my body. 

I can feel my heart swell with each breath he took to let out another cry, my vision blurred every time he screamed. 

"Just close your eyes and breathe Meghann, just breathe." 

I fear I am cheating, skipping out on the hardest parts. I pray my endurance climbs with each escalade of Isaac's cries, reminding myself I am of no use to him if I'm as worked up as he is.

Blessed am I! Living with my in-laws who help whenever I need. Sure at times I desperately wish I could have my own space with my husband and baby, (which will come soon). Yet I appreciate my situation as it is. I have someone so readily available, always so willing to hold him, so I can just....inhale........exhale.